I’d planned on a quiet, relaxed morning. …the start of a day and night on my own. Jane left town on a business trip, so I’ll be on my own, usually a good time.
Sure enough, I’m up early and completely enjoying the clear quiet of a winter morning…a calm that penetrates even into my home in the center of Burlington --Vermont’s biggest city.
But then, my peaceful, calm morning is ruined …by something. Something must have happened because now I’m a quivering ball of anxiety. I’m thinking about all the things to do. Some I MUST do... others are optional. Planning ahead, I’ve written all these down, just in case. But what, in fact, happened? What jerked me from my happy day to wallowing in my options? I know the answer, but I don’t want to admit it: I DON’T REMEMBER what happened! Maybe something mysterious inside my brain where my 100 Billion neurons are under attack. Or maybe something else that I have, so far, completely forgotten…
Like a lot of people, I blunder through life, dividing my time among three familiar worlds: The Now, The Past, and The Future.
These days, I bounce, sometimes awkwardly, among the Big Three. I wonder if my recent diagnosis isn’t cranking up the intensity. Like, today I found myself standing around somewhat blankly in the kitchen, a little light-headed and spacey. Oh, did I forget to eat lunch again? All of a sudden I realized I was ravenous and, thrilled, I quickly put together (and savored) the meal I missed.
Delicious! As usual, returning to the Present presents unexpected presents! This time a meal to be savored.
Sky has been reading several books about memory recently, and we’ve been talking about memory, what it is, and what it means. It turns out that there are many kinds of memory — ranging from memories of how to do things (ride a bike, use tools, walk) to memories of things that happened to us (however imperfect or incomplete those memories are) to memories of factual information (where is the bathroom? when did the Civil War begin?).
That’s it! Enough with this crazy place, and crazier young lady. I stomp out of the so-called “Interactive Visitors Center" as quick as my legs will take me. When I calm down a little, I notice I’ve still got the worthless “guide” in my hand. And, of course, it’s still blank. It wouldn’t be so bad, if they didn’t pretend to be giving out useful information only to slap you in the face with that blank page. Ugh!
I don’t know where I am, and I’m not even in the Canyon yet. [At least I don’t think I am.] Wait, What? There’s a restaurant, or a snack bar, or something. I’ve used up all my road food on this insane detour, and I’m hungry.
The restaurant looks a little more organized than that Visitor Center. They have a Menu posted outside and the menu even has writing on it. Hah, hah!! Wonder if it’s gonna be pricey…