Alzheimer's Canyon: Sky: WTF

Friday, February 2, 2018

Sky: WTF

My watching self wonders what’s up as I stand in a corner holding my head in two hands.

My deeper self, now shaking and watching the floor, doesn’t have to wonder…it sets off the alarm, at first a discrete beep and a small warning light, increasing in volume and intensity if ignored.

World Triage Filter World Triage Filter World Triage Filter

World Triage Filter World Triage Filter

World Triage Filter

What, you may ask, is this “W T F” business? The short (and completely un-medical) answer is that it’s the critical part of our brain that evaluates and tries to make sense of all the incoming information from the hyper-complex outside world.

Triage in times of crisis.

Steadiness as we move through our days.

Strength to keep psychosis at bay.

And, yes, WTF monitors our interactions with the whole entire world, as well as our internal reactions as we do so. Important job.

When my filter is working only intermittently, I lose its vital services of screening, sorting, prioritizing and generally working with incoming data. Here’s an example: The other day the discussion at the dinner table drifted to money and finances for some reason. It wasn’t a heated or a difficult conversation, yet I soon heard the beeps and flashing lights from the WTF. For some reason, my filter was not available to modulate as the background noise somehow got turned up and up, and in the end, it was all I could hear.

I haven’t really got much to complain about because most of the time my inner filter works just like it always has, humming along in the background.

But when that filter isn’t reliably doing its thing, my brain is working with a budget FlipPhone, not the latest SmartPhone. Every incoming message interrupts the processing of the whole unit, instead of discretely passing along a text for me to deal with when the time is right. A metaphorical SmartPhone could also help by acting as a conduit to bring in more information to help sort through a problem, or at the least provide some comfortable music or maybe a cat video to take the edge off.

I’m coming to see that one my regular chores ought to be monitoring that oh-so-important WTF to extend its useful life:

Keep it clean and fresh…no crud
Work out a regular plan for time off to recharge
Avoid unscheduled shut downs

Soothing

With my hands, I fashion

my own cradle

For a hurting brain.

1 comment:

MaryFebruary 3, 2018 at 4:19 PM
Once again, Sky, your post helps me to briefly walk in your shoes. It is so incredibly helpful. It is a very difficult thing to do and you do it so well. Your straight forward explanations followed by examples and metaphors so eloquently teach me a bit about what it's like to live with the immense changes you are experiencing. When I was teaching and working with kids who approached the world differently from the way I do I searched for authentic accounts of their perspectives. When I was lucky enough to find some it made all the difference in how I worked with someone. I learned what it was like to live with a super sensitive sensory system and what it was like to live with visual motor system that was askew. You are writing a manual for us, helping us to understand. Thank you so much! And BTW did you write this poem?! It's beautiful! I picture you holding your head in your hands. It makes me smile and cry at the same time. Mary Y.
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Tips on Reading Alzheimers Canyon

As of May 2018, there are now over 100 subscribers to our blog. And by "our" we mean not just Sky and Jane, but also everyone who reads and generally follows along with this journey into dementia. We read every single comment you all add with great interest. Please feel free to chime in.

We've learned a lot from your comments and expect to learn more as the journey unfolds. We've found it is too much try to reply individually to each comment on the blog, especially in a timely manner.....remember... some of these words, like the brain behind them, may have "loosed their anchors to time."

For new or bemused readers, this blog has two simultaneous threads going on at the same time. Some written by Sky, who is living with a diagnosis of "Probable Early Alzheimer's Disease." Some are written by Jane, who has been living with Sky for over 30 years. She holds the complicated position of primary care-partner.

The bulk of the posts are reflections on real-life challenges, adventures, surprises and their attendant emotions and changes. When you open the blog you will see a small selection of a small selection of the most recent posts. Most of these lead to a READ MORE button which will get you to the rest of the post. Feel free to jump around.

The other part of the blog is a more fantastical story, called Alzheimer's Canyon, about a regular guy, innocently traveling life's highway, who unexpectedly ends up in an exceedingly bizarre place called Alzheimer's Canyon. It is important to read these episodes in order. Here's how: Scroll down to the list called LABELS, on the right-hand sidebar. Click on the Label called Alzheimer's Canyon and you will see all the episodes. Don't forget to visit them in order, starting with "The Arrival." All the other episodes will be obvious from the number in their titles.

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